On Mothering and Being Mothered

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!

I see how hard you work to do it all. Many of you are the primary caretaker and the breadwinner, the planner of birthdays and holidays, and the keeper of calendars—taking kids from doctor appointments to school events to social gatherings, and everything in between. That’s why YOU are the bomb!

It’s been nearly 31 years since I became a mother, and just shy of a year since my own mother’s spirit left her body.

My mom, Donna, taught me one of my first lessons in motherhood. When my daughter Sofia was a newborn, crying in my arms, she said, She’ll follow your lead. If you stay calm, she’ll stay calm.

So that’s what I did. I grounded myself and my breath. And just like that, Sofia stopped crying. That’s the power of presence.

I wove my mom’s lesson into the fiber of my being. As a single mom, Sofia went everywhere with me, even to my office in the early days of Self-Discovery Group, now SDG Heal.

I used to draw hearts on her palm when she needed courage, inspired by one of her favorite books, The Kissing Hand. We sang “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and “Brick House” in the car. We went through some of the hardest times of our lives together. I encouraged her to be okay with making mistakes. We moved, we traveled, we laughed, we cried. And I watched her grow into the woman she is today.

What I’m most proud of is that I raised her to be herself, to tell the truth, and to be strong in who she is. I stood by her, and she stood by me.

Bringing someone into this world has been one of the greatest joys of my life. It’s also been one of the hardest. Because when you’re a mom, it can feel like you never stop doing or going.

To all the mothers out there, I’m sending you big, BIG love today. I celebrate all that you do, the seen and unseen of it all.

Your presence in this world, just like my mom once reminded me, has more power than you know.